The pandemic is hard on everyone in many different ways.
“The pandemic is hard on everyone in many different ways. But sometimes I feel like no one gets just how difficult this is for me. Having postpartum ptsd, while being forced to be alone because of quarantine and a deployment, is not how I envisioned the first year of my babies life. I have to share my baby’s first milestones through emails. FaceTiming people who have roommates, significant others, or family with them just makes me more sad that I’m doing this completely alone. I have really good days, and I have days where I don’t know how I’m going to make it until bedtime – just to do it all over again tomorrow. I’ve screamed into my pillow more times than I can count. I’ve had to walk out of my baby’s room while he’s screaming because I can feel myself reaching my breaking point. I feel like a worthless person. I have no identity other than being a mother. I don’t feel like myself. Having my entire day and night revolve around my baby is exhausting. Mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. This has been the most difficult time of my life, but I hate that I am wishing it away. I am thankful the deployment was only 3 months, but that was just the beginning of my postpartum mental health journey.”